When Polaroid decided to stop producing film a while back, I was pretty bummed. I had just recently invested in an 8×10 processor and started shooting the 8×10 color film (type 809) from time to time, and really, really liked it. I had one box left when the announcement was made, and that was the last one I was ever going to see, since you literally couldn’t find the stuff anywhere within a few months. I shot a few sheets here and there, and then resolved to save up the rest for something really special. When we heard Max was on the way, I knew I had found my subject, and then it was just a waiting game. Yesterday, I finally got the chance to shoot the remaining 9 sheets that I’d been saving, even though by that time it was a year and a half past the expiration date.
The first sheet was wasted because I had forgotten which little piece of paper you had to pull out of the holder before shooting. Instead of pulling the darkslide paper out, I pulled the film out. Ouch. $15 mistake with a commodity you can’t get anymore. Loaded up sheet #2. I set up a shot outside in our yard, since the weather was beautiful, and did a test shot to see how the film had held up… not bad… practically no red left in it, but not bad. So we fed Max, and tried to get him to chill out, but by the time he was calm enough to be a willing participant, the sun had tucked behind the clouds, and the nice bounce I was getting off the side of the house was gone.
Two sheets down, we moved inside. The light coming in through our front window was amazing, and we have an upholstered chair that was sitting right in front of it. Perfect. Move the baby, get everything set up, wait until he’s calmed down, double-check focus, load the film, cock the shutter, pull the darkslide, wait… wait… hit the shutter and… nothing. Look around front, and I’ve forgotten to close the lens down. Just gave that sheet a 20+ second exposure. Shit. Been a while since I’ve shot sheet film, especially when it’s a subject that might move, so it’s understandable I’d forget, but still… one more sheet down. Five left. Still no pictures.
Finally get a shot with the next sheet. WAY cyan from the skylight coming through the window, and from the film being so far beyond it’s date. That’s okay, I guess.. we can fix the color after it’s scanned. Also running into reciprocity issues since the meter’s reading 1s for the exposure, so it’s a stop under, at least. Move the camera a bit, compose a tigher shot, which means more bellows, which means we’re running even farther against reciprocity issues, and with the circumstances we’re shooting under, the different corrections needed to nail the exposure is basically a shot in the dark. Next shot’s over by about a stop, but we’re getting there. Still not feeling the composition. The shot is too tight.
The next negative gets fed into the processor goofy, and the bag of pola-jelly stuff attached to the positive doesn’t break open right. It’s all over the rollers, and none on the print, which comes out totally blank. Another exposure wasted, and now I have to clean the rollers in the processor off. By now, the house is blisteringly hot, since we cranked up the heater to keep Max warm. Two sheets left, and still nothing decent to show for the endeavor.
Next shot gets the exposure right, finally, but it still sucks. So busy troubleshooting all the stupid things I’d done thus far that I hadn’t bothered to make sure there was an interesting photo looking back at me in the ground glass. It’s a passable effort, to be sure, but definitely not the kind of frame that I’d kept this film around for 18 months to make. Composed too tight. It’s a boring image.
With one frame left, I stepped back, looked at the scene, and decided to put more of the chair into the photo. I twisted and tortured the hell out of the Deardorff, bringing the farthest reaches of the Fujinon 240mm’s image circle into the frame, swinging focus until all that was left was my baby boy peeking out from a sea of lens aberrations and upholstery. Deep breath… 3 second exposure… click… run over to the processor, feed it through, and out comes the print.
Finally, with the last frame in the box, I got the image of my son that made the whole thing worth it. He’ll never be this tiny and delicate again, and I’ll never shoot another frame of Polaroid Type 809 again. The end of Polaroid, and the beginning of fatherhood. I’m glad I kept the box sitting around after all.
Simon Kemp
GREAT blog post and a beautiful image :)
Feb 21, 2009 @ 11:07 am
cheryl spelts
Really really beautiful image – just perfection.
The last line or two of the post is also pretty great!
Feb 21, 2009 @ 11:32 am
michael corsentiono
Hey guys, looked for you at wppi. Not sure if you were there. Congratulations on your new family member ;-) Dude – reciprocity, bellows, type 809, Deardorff! These words are making me warm and fuzzy all over. I miss shooting 8×10 so much, keeping a lookout on ebay for an 8×10 or 11×14 Deardorff in good shape that doesn’t break the bank. Still have my 4×5 & 8×10 processors ;-) I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that Polaroid is no more! It’ been a part my life for so long. I shot my first Polaroids when I was twelve with a Model 95A that my father gave me. I wish I still had that camera. Of course I immediately fell in love with the magic, colors, and instant gratification of Polaroid. Later I experimented with transfers, and emulsion swirls, really cool stuff. Polaroid will definitely be missed. Thanks for sharing a very beautiful and personal image. Great post!
Feb 21, 2009 @ 12:33 pm
Melissa Oholendt
This actually made me a little emotional! What a beautiful story about a beautiful boy with some beautiful film. I loved the second to last line, “The end of Polaroid, and the beginning of fatherhood.”
Feb 21, 2009 @ 1:04 pm
josh solar
Stunning image, Doug! And, yes, they aren’t that little for too long so enjoy it while you can.
Feb 21, 2009 @ 1:32 pm
Lanne
Beautiful. Both the image and your words. Sorry to hear about the loss but welcome to the future. Very poetic. He is adorable. Hope all are well.
Feb 21, 2009 @ 2:44 pm
John Heil
wow, really really fantastic moment in time here….the chair, the little guy, the distoration….incredible frame mate! thanks for posting the whole story of you got to this shot….makes it all that more meaningfull. The last 2 lines are the best.
Feb 21, 2009 @ 2:53 pm
admin
Thanks a lot, guys… definitely emotional for me in a weird way. I’ll miss that film but also be glad to be rid of it at the same time. Beautiful, but so impractical and expensive. I hope Max appreciates this frame someday.
Feb 21, 2009 @ 3:17 pm
daryl brewton
Great shot and great story.
Beautiful.
Feb 21, 2009 @ 3:45 pm
Abra Morris
It was worth it. :)
Feb 21, 2009 @ 3:54 pm
cat from nextexit
Wow, reading this brought a tear to my eye. Congrats on your little miracle.
Feb 21, 2009 @ 5:11 pm
Kevin Keefer
doug, i am in awe of your work with this film camera. beautiful portrait! composition was just wonderful congrats dad! (and mom-Chenin did do some work :D)
Feb 21, 2009 @ 5:36 pm
Jules Bianchi
I loved this story. Your baby is adorable, and the shot is perfect. Congrats, you two!
Feb 21, 2009 @ 5:51 pm
Christina LeMarr
A beautiful shot of a beautiful subject!
Feb 21, 2009 @ 7:49 pm
Lisa Stein
Great shot! Beautiful baby. Worth saving the film for, and so glad you got it by the last shot!
Now you can look forward to explaining to your child what polaroid was…we had fun tell our son about the days before there was a remote and you had to get up to change the channel on the tv, and he said, “You’ve got to be kidding!”
Feb 21, 2009 @ 8:55 pm
robert norman
that image is as beautiful as the story!
Feb 21, 2009 @ 11:03 pm
Tamera
Perfect.
Feb 22, 2009 @ 4:32 am
Michelle O
So cool Doug…savor every moment. Gorgeous image.
Feb 22, 2009 @ 8:35 am
sarah smith photography
wow…love this image and the story behind it, i am sure one day he will apprciate it as much as you do now. thank you for sharing :)
Feb 22, 2009 @ 12:47 pm
Jeffrey Neal
Wow! The story, the image, the magic. Doug, it is pictures like this that give meaning to photography. Max will love it.
Feb 22, 2009 @ 10:32 pm
kyles
beautiful babe, beautiful image, beautiful words…
all the very best for many happy days ahead…
Feb 23, 2009 @ 5:58 am
Marilyn
Love this story! Thanks for sharing! I can never get enough of your and Chenin’s pictures :)
Feb 23, 2009 @ 1:48 pm
Doug Boutwell
@Lisa – so true! I wonder how many things I’m going to have to explain to Max that will make me seem old, and make him wonder how people got along back in the olden days (22 Megapixel cameras? Hah! I have one of those on my phone!)
Feb 23, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
Elin
Congratulations on your baby boy!
I really enjoyed reading this story :) I think it was worth the trouble, the final image is gorgeous…..
Feb 23, 2009 @ 3:54 pm
Pete Malone
Doug, Fantastic photo and a lovely story as well. Congratulations on your new family. And congratulations on FINALLY getting the print that you were looking for!
Feb 24, 2009 @ 8:04 am
matt sloan
not going to lie, that was a great story and glad you shared it! so happy for you Doug!
Feb 25, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
David of DavidHam
Fantastic effort and story Doug. Welcome to fatherhood.
Feb 25, 2009 @ 7:00 pm
Dominoe Imus
Beautiful story, it totally made me cry. :) Congrats on a beautiful image to capture such a beautiful baby.
Feb 26, 2009 @ 1:50 pm
gilcelia
this post is beautiful.
max is lucky to be born to such rad parents.
Feb 26, 2009 @ 7:28 pm
Curtis Copeland
What a great shot! This is an inspirational children’s photograph. Thanks for sharing these special moments of your life.
Mar 10, 2009 @ 10:39 am
rik andes
ah doug, this image is complete perfection. it rocks. it had captured me entirely even before i read the story…the words took it to new heights of wonderfulness (for lack of a better term). welcome to fatherhood, doug =]
Mar 10, 2009 @ 11:41 am